Archive for Communication technique

Seen, But Not Heard

{ March 11, 2008 @ 12:30 am } · { Communication technique, Hard of hearing musician, Super Hearing Boy, deaf, deafness, hard of hearing, hearing impaired, hearing loss }
{ } · { Comments (13) }

Normal hearing children that grow up with a hard of hearing (HOH) parent naturally adapt to the parent’s hearing loss; from an early age, both of my children muted the television, turned off music, and made sure I could see their lips before they attempted to speak to me. Sometimes I felt just a little bad that “talking to mommy” required more work than talking to other people.

 

But that was BEFORE Super Hearing Boy (SHB) became a teenager.

 

SHB gradually came into the realization that he could take advantage of my lipreading ability and USE IT AGAINST ME. And do it in a subtle, sneaky manner… and make me look like I’ve gone berserk! How is this possible?

 

I’m at the piano, rehearsing with the band at church after potluck, and glance over at SHB. He’s staring at me, trying to get my attention without any of the guys noticing. The instant I look at him, he starts moving his lips without making a sound. The sight of his moving lips puts me in an almost hypnotic trance and I’m compelled to lipread until his lips are still. I shake my head to indicate “no” and his lips move again. Finally, I stop playing, and say firmly, “No, I am NOT going to drive you home now and come back here to finish rehearsing! Just sit tight for another half hour and stop arguing with me!”

 

The guitarists and drummer are silenced by my outburst.

 

Guess who looks like a raving lunatic and who looks calm and composed?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Help! I can’t hear my kids!

{ August 5, 2007 @ 4:46 pm } · { Communication technique, hard of hearing, hearing impaired, hearing loss, normal hearing children }
{ } · { Comments (7) }

Living with a hard of hearing (HOH) person can be frustrating. My two children have normal hearing, and like most normal hearing people, they don’t have to lipread. They can eavesdrop. They can hear in the dark. Most importantly, they can talk to someone in a DIFFERENT ROOM!

Normal hearing parents listen to their children while cooking, folding laundry, cleaning house, or taking a shower. HOH parents MUST drop what they’re doing and focus intently on their child’s lips. Imagine the power struggle that ensues when a HOH parent tries to finish a chore, and a normal hearing child fervently insists upon attention right now!

“MOM. LOOK AT ME!” my daughter shouted as she tugged on my skirt.

“Give me a minute. These veggie burgers are going to burn if I don’t get them out now.”

“MOM, HURRY!”

“Just a few more seconds!”

“MOM!”

Repeat this scenario all day, every day, and multiply it year after year. It gets old, fast.

Or this:

Me: Do you want to go to the park today?

Kids: Mph.

Me: What?

Kids: Mph!

Me: What?

Kids: MMPPPPHHHH!

During one such scenario, my daughter had a meltdown. Tears streamed down her face and she collapsed on the floor. “I WISH YOU COULD HEAR ME!” she wailed.

“Sweetie, I’m sorry. I wish I could hear like you, but I can’t.” I said.

Inspiration hit a few minutes later. Bass sounds are easy for me to hear. Maybe my kids and I can come up with a simple code using low frequencies. This should work for questions that require a yes or no answer.

I called them for a meeting and we decided upon the following code:

One bark = yes

Two barks = no

Three barks = I don’t know

Three barks, REST, followed by two more barks = I don’t care

I’m happy to report that this code works well! If you stop by my place, you’ll hear my kids barking at me over the phone, in the same room, or *gasp* in a different room. Sometimes they accidentally bark in the grocery store, or some other public place. And they do it because they love me. Woof!