Archive for Local Government Building

Librarian = Detective

{ November 12, 2007 @ 1:48 am } · { Hard of hearing Librarian, Library, Local Government Building, deaf, hard of hearing }
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The elderly gentleman wore a white Guayabera, a man’s shirt popular in Latin and Asian countries, and walked briskly towards me at the Reference Desk. I have to admit, from past experiences, because of the way he was dressed AND his age, I prepared myself to focus on a heavy Spanish accent (Before I get any hate mail, my grandfather wore Guayaberas, and he was from a Latin American country). But nothing could prepare me for what I heard. The first sounds out of his mouth weren’t English or Spanish. They weren’t even Spanglish.

Elderly gentleman (in a loud voice): “Chair Lee Ho. D-B-D. Chair Lee Ho.”

Me: You want a DVD?

Elderly gentleman: (nods head excitedly) “Chair Lee Ho!”

I glance at my normal hearing coworker and he shrugs his shoulders, indicating he has no clue what the man is saying, either.

Me: (handing the gentleman a paper and pen) “I’m not quite getting the title. Can you write that down for me?”

Elderly gentleman: (looking offended) “Chair Lee Ho! Okay, I write!” He writes down the printed version of “Chair Lee Ho,” triumphantly hands the paper to me with a big smile, and once again says, “Chair Lee Ho!”

Me: (trying not to laugh) You want a Sherlock Holmes DVD?”

Elderly gentleman: (grinning from ear to ear) “Yes! Chair Lee Ho! Chair Lee Ho!”

Sometimes you have to be Sherlock Holmes just to understand people in the Library!

The Lawnmower Man

{ September 28, 2007 @ 2:11 pm } · { Hard of hearing Librarian, Library, Local Government Building, hearing loss }
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It’s confession time!

The Local Government Building I write about in my posts is a Public Library. That’s right, I’m a Librarian and a musician with hearing loss. I work the Information Desk at the Library, and also provide programming for children of all ages. I’m currently working in an inner city Library where off-duty Sheriff’s Deputies provide “guard” services to ensure the safety of Library staff and Library customers. Now that I’ve revealed my secret, you can expect more candid blogging from me, starting with this little story that happened while I was at lunch:

Yesterday, a gentleman brought his lawnmower to the Local Government Building Library. Not a riding mower, but a “stand behind it and push” model. He propped it up against the glass entrance doors to watch it while surfing the ‘Net. This caused quite a stir with the Library staff, and the Senior Librarian immediately confronted him.

Senior Librarian: Sir, you need to move your lawnmower.

Gentleman: Why? It’s not in anyone’s way.

Senior Librarian: You can’t leave it there.

Gentleman: It isn’t blocking the doors!

Senior Librarian: Sir, please move the lawnmower.

The gentleman sighs deeply and moves the lawnmower a few feet, propping it next to the bookdrop. At this point, our trusty Deputy steps in and goes face to face with the lawnmower man:

Deputy: You can’t keep your lawnmower there. Move it off Library property.

Gentleman: This is ridiculous! There are bikes in front of the Library! Why can’t I have my lawnmower here?

Deputy: The bikes are in the bike rack. Unfortunately, we don’t have a lawnmower rack.

And you can’t park your jet ski, go-kart, boat, horse, donkey, or cow in front of the Library, either. Just so you know.

Made for Each Other

{ September 14, 2007 @ 8:52 pm } · { Local Government Building, deaf, deafness, hard of hearing, hearing impaired, hearing loss, lipreading, lisps }
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I sit quietly at my desk in the Local Government Building. Customers are behaving themselves, and all is peaceful, when the door opens and The Dreaded Customer walks in the door. He’s never rude, never impolite, but I cringe inwardly the second he appears. Why? He’s the bane of my existence; every word he speaks looks EXACTLY the same. He simply repeats it endlessly. “Don’t look at his lips, don’t look at his lips,” I chant in my mind as he saunters up to my desk.

Me: Hi, may I help you?

Dreaded Customer: Bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub. Bub-bub-bub-bub?

Me: (Totally clueless look on my face) Excuse me?

Dreaded Customer: Bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub. Bub-bub-bub-bub?

Me: What kind of information do you need?

He gestures wildly, and speaks louder. Beads of perspiration form on my forehead. With intense effort, I manage to decode his nonsensical word formations and he leaves quickly. My sense of relief vanishes rapidly, however, as my gaze falls upon the next person to enter the Local Government Building. This is unbelievable! It can’t be! Not two in a row!

Now it’s time for an encounter with Miss Thith-thith-thith-thith-thith.

That’s Not in my Job Description!

{ August 23, 2007 @ 5:57 pm } · { FM System, Local Government Building, amplifier, deafness, hard of hearing, hearing impaired }
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Sometimes I use a small amplifier called a SmartLink that works in conjunction with my hearing aids. It’s about half the size of a deck of cards and needs to be plugged into or placed near the source of sound to be effective. At work, the SmartLink sits unobtrusively on my desk, covertly amplifying my customers. If I need to walk my customers to a different location, I nonchalantly carry it with me. Customers that speak during our short walk suddenly get their personal space invaded by this shiny, silver device just inches from their lips.The three most common reactions are:

Gratitude - “Oh, thank you! I really need a nice mp3 player!”

Or  

Suspicion - “Why are you taking my picture?”

Or  

Hostility - “I don’t want to be recorded!”

I quickly became used to saying, “This device helps me hear you - it works with my hearing aids.“ People accept this explanation most graciously, and all is right with the world. But one day I was surprised with a completely new reaction that had never happened before or since:

The Local Government Building was deathly quiet (at least to me). A woman leisurely ambles up to my desk and requests assistance. My SmartLink was in the usual hiding place, but wasn’t amplifying her soft voice. I pick it up and point it toward her. Before I could blink my eyes, a deafening primal scream escapes her mouth and she flies backwards ten feet.

She hollers, “DON’T TASER ME! DON’T TASER ME!”

“What?!”

“I didn’t do anything! I swear! Please don’t taser me!”  

“Ma’am, I’m here to HELP you, not HURT you!”

Who knew adaptive equipment could be so entertaining!

The Crab Woman

{ August 21, 2007 @ 2:01 pm } · { Local Government Building, deafness, hard of hearing, hearing loss, lipreading }
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I interact with the public at my place of employment, and must announce my hearing loss to soft-spoken people on a daily basis. Most people readily accommodate me by speaking louder, but I’ve run into a handful of people that adamantly refuse to speak beyond an imperceptible whisper. These inaudible speakers are a strange breed, painfully shy, and barely able to move their lips.

Just the other day, I was blessed with an especially memorable encounter involving one of these afflicted beings. She blended in with the general population, but as we all know, looks can be deceiving. As she stood in front of my desk, she looked at me and moved her lips without making a sound. I needed a few more decibels for comprehension, and innocently spoke the magic words that ultimately unveiled her true identity:

“I’m hard of hearing. Please repeat that a little louder.”

Instantly, the metamorphosis began. Fascinated, I sat transfixed as her eyes bugged out, color drained from her face, and she white-knuckled the desk. After hesitating for a few seconds, she opened her mouth, and without any discernible difference in volume, made the same small lip movements as before.

Despite feeling a bit guilty for subjecting her to obvious torture, I stood up and leaned closer. With my most genteel voice, I pleaded, “Just a little louder, please?”

It was too much for her to bear. A look of horror filled her face, then her eyes darted from side to side. Her bosom heaved. Ever so silently, she moved her mouth again, in different movements this time, and scuttled away sideways, disappearing into the bowels of the Local Government Building, never to be seen again.

Have you ever encountered one of these?

I saw what you said last summer

{ August 20, 2007 @ 12:35 am } · { Local Government Building, deafness, hard of hearing, hearing impaired, hearing loss, lipreading, lisps }
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An international business traveler named Rick, commenting in response to my first post, stated “non-native English speakers often do not move their lips as …expect[ed] from a native speaker” and that he has “adjusted to many different accents and lip movements, but it required lots of practice.” That’s downright miraculous! Like most hard of hearing people, I struggle to understand anyone with heavily accented English. But living in Florida, I’m used to hearing, “Do you want cheeps with that sub?”

What makes me a little crazy is normal hearing native speakers of English blissfully unaware that they are mispronouncing their own name! There oughta be a law!  Mandatory time locked in a speech clinic ’til they can say their own name right might do ‘em some good!

Anyway, I digress. Hard of hearing people are very attentive to the way people speak. We must depend upon our eyes to fill in the sounds our ears fail to receive. But sometimes our eyes see too well. For example, while I was at work in the Local Government Building, a female customer needed assistance. I asked for her name.

She said, “Bef Smif.” *

Hmm….. A bit confused, I politely said, “Please spell your name for me.”

She very carefully spelled, B-E-T-H-S-M-I-T-H.  She then leaned over, slowly enunciating, “Bef Smif.”

I can’t hear the difference, but I sure can SEE the difference!

*Name changed to protect the guilty

He is Not Ashamed

{ August 9, 2007 @ 9:38 pm } · { Local Government Building, bluetooth, hearing aids }
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I was at work in the Local Government Building.  A man walked in with a large red device anchored to his ear.  I thought to myself, Wow!  That is the largest hearing aid ever!  Too many people are ashamed of their hearing aids, and want the smallest hearing aid possible, but this guy is “in your face” with his hearing aid!  More power to him! It’s about time people stopped trying to cover up their hearing loss. A few minutes later, he started talking to himself….. ;)  

What did you think about the wireless Bluetooth headphones when they first came out?    

Sorry, I read lips, not minds

{ August 3, 2007 @ 9:34 pm } · { Local Government Building, deafness, hard of hearing, lipreading }
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A young, Hispanic woman walked into the Local Government Building where I worked.  “Whoa!  I can read those lips from across the room!” I thought to myself.  It’s easier to lipread people with full lips.  No lip people might as well be speaking Chinese to me.  She made her way to the computers, then shot me a quizzical glance.

She walked toward me at the Help Desk.  I looked at her intently, confident I would be able to understand her speech. She parted her lips  half an inch and froze them in midair. 

“Uaa eeee ii uuaa.”   

 What?!  Maybe she’s speaking Spanish. “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand you.  Can you please repeat that?”

 ”Uuaa eeee ii uuaa.” 

The woman refused to move her large, stone lips to form words.  I’m pretty good at lipreading, but the lips have to move. 

“Let me get someone to help you.  I’ll be right back.”